Support for New Parents: Loneliness and Finding Your Village
Key Takeaways
Feeling lonely after having a baby can be common, and it does not mean you are failing as a parent. Days can be full of feeds, nappies and visitors, yet still leave you feeling unseen.
The Pampers Baby Report shows how this plays out in the UK. More than half (53%) of parents feel lonely at least sometimes, compared with 44% across Europe. Having people around is not always the same as feeling emotionally supported.
In this article, you’ll find out what a village means, where to find support in the UK and how to build connection at your own pace. To explore the findings in full, read the full Pampers Baby Report.
| 58/100 | 63% | 53% |
|---|---|---|
| UK Connection & Support reading | of UK parents say they have a village and 63% feel supported overall | of UK parents feel lonely at least sometimes, compared with 44% across Europe |
Is it normal to feel lonely as a new parent?
Yes - many new parents experience loneliness, including parents who have family or friends around them. In the UK, more than 1 in 2 parents feel lonely at least sometimes.
Loneliness vs being alone
Loneliness is the gap between the connection you have and the connection you need. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, or spend time alone and feel fine. The BMJ Open consensus statement on perinatal loneliness explores loneliness around pregnancy and early parenthood.
Life with a new baby can change routines, friendships and work connections almost overnight, so this gap can open up even in busy households.
If these feelings last, feel distressing or make it hard to cope, they deserve support. NHS support for your mental health after having a baby explains where to turn, and our guide to looking after yourself in motherhood has gentle ideas for everyday wellbeing.
What does a ‘village’ mean for parents?
A parenting village is the mix of people, services and communities that provide emotional, practical, informational or professional support. It can include partners, relatives, friends, neighbours, health visitors, midwives, GPs, childcare, community groups, workplaces and trusted digital spaces.
The UK Connection & Support reading is 58/100, and summarises three UK support conditions within the Village Barometer. In the UK, 63% of parents say they have a village and 63% feel supported overall. For context, Europe-wide, 65% of parents say they have a village and 60% feel supported overall.
Having a village does not always mean feeling emotionally supported. Strength tends to come from layers. According to the Pampers Baby Report, parents who can draw on both family and community support appear more likely to feel supported, and more likely to say they have a village, than parents relying mainly on themselves or their partner (Europe-wide).
“Caregiver support is baby-relevant because babies experience that support through the consistency, responsiveness and emotional availability of the adults around them.”
— Professor Natasha Kirkham, Birkbeck, University of London
The report sets out three principles for stronger support:
| Make it close | Make it practical | Make it kind |
|---|---|---|
| Support that feels emotionally available, where you can speak honestly without feeling judged. | Help with everyday pressures, from meals and errands to rest and time to recover. | Support that builds your confidence and listens before advising. |
A village doesn’t need to be big. How reliable and accessible your support is matters more than how many people are in it.
Where can new parents get support?
New parents can seek support from people they trust, local parent groups, their health visitor or midwife, their GP, NHS services and local authority or Family Hub services where available.
Feeling supported is a relative strength in the UK. But the Pampers Baby Report also shows a gap: Europe-wide, parents expect an average of 3.4 types of support in their village, but experience 2.8 in real life. Neighbours, community groups and healthcare professionals are all less present than parents expect, while many rely heavily on themselves, their partner and immediate family. That’s why it can help to reach a little beyond close family.
| Type of support | Where to find it |
|---|---|
| Personal support | Partner, family, friends and neighbours you trust |
| Peer/community support | Local parent groups and NCT local activities and meet-ups |
| Professional support | Midwife, health visitor, GP and NHS help and support for new parents. In participating areas of England, Find a Family Hub in your local area. |
| Urgent support | NHS 111 for urgent mental health help; call 999 or go to A&E if there is immediate danger |
If your baby arrived early, there is also support after a premature birth.
How can I build a support network?
Start with one or two dependable contacts, ask for specific help and add community or professional support gradually.
Every parent deserves connection – whether you're a mum, dad, partner, adoptive parent, single parent, LGBTQ+ parent, kinship carer or part of any other family. If your baby needed neonatal care, there is support for dads and non-birthing partners in NICU too.
What can the village do for me?
You don't have to do it all yourself. Often the people around you want to help but aren't sure how. A simple list makes it easier for them to say yes. You can share it with family and friends, or they can pick something to offer – like your own Village registry list!
What your village can do:
Small, practical help like this is what makes support feel close, practical and kind. It's often the everyday moments of help that make the biggest difference.
How do I find baby groups near me?
Search your local council or Family Information Service, ask your health visitor, check nearby libraries or children’s centres, use the GOV.UK Family Hub finder where applicable, or search NCT activities by postcode. Find a Family Hub in your local area covers participating areas in England only, while NCT local activities and meet-ups lets you search by postcode.
Groups offer a regular chance to see the same faces and swap tips with other parents, though they don't replace support from your health visitor or GP. NCT parent and baby groups explains the different types available.
Before you go, it can help to check:
When should I ask for more help?
Speak to your midwife, health visitor or GP if loneliness, low mood, anxiety or difficulty coping persists, worsens or affects daily life. Loneliness is not a diagnosis in itself, but it is always a good reason to reach out.
For urgent mental health help, contact NHS 111. If there is immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E. Our guide to looking after yourself in motherhood also has gentle ideas for everyday wellbeing.
This article provides general information and is not a substitute for medical advice. If you are worried about your mental health or ability to cope, speak to your midwife, health visitor or GP.
Frequently asked questions
Loneliness isn't about how many people are around you. It's about whether the connection you have meets your emotional and practical needs. You might have visitors every day yet still feel nobody really understands how you're feeling, and that's a very common experience. If loneliness starts to feel too heavy, speak to your midwife, health visitor or GP.
Explore the Pampers Baby Report
Read the full Pampers Baby Report and see the research methodology , or explore finding parenting advice you can trust and baby sleep and parent tiredness . A strong village supports the people caring for a baby – and makes room for the small, responsive moments that matter.