Good manners start with a few very important words. They are almost magical as they make such a great difference to other people’s day-to-day life. If you are asking yourself sometimes how to raise a child, five key phrases for children to learn are: Please, Hello and Goodbye, Excuse Me, Thank You and Sorry.
What Do You Say? Please and Thank You!
By Annette Karmiloff-Smith
Use a sheet or a parachute for some “please and thank you” fun. Get your friends and family together and hold on to the edges of the parachute. Take turns asking each other questions that invite the others to respond with good manners. For example: What do you say when someone opens the door for you?” After someone answers the question with “Thank you,” up goes the parachute, and that person runs under the parachute and trades places with someone. Practicing social responses and good manners during play reinforces correct social behaviours when they are needed and shows everybody a way how to raise a child.
The Perfect ‘Thank You’!
By Annette Karmiloff-Smith
Thank you letters or drawings provide another opportunity to learn the value of good manners. Though children like to receive presents, they would rather be playing with them than having to write letters to the giver. It's a good habit to start and is another method of teaching a child to express gratitude and appreciate the thought and effort put into sending a present.
Don't press them for perfect spelling, straight letters, or beautiful prose. What's most important is that they understand that gratitude and the effort put into a thank-you note or picture are what matter most.
Getting a Grip on Bad Manners
By Annette Karmiloff-Smith
When bad manners occur, it could be in rebellion. There are so many things for your child to learn that it’s no wonder he sometimes gets frustrated and doesn’t want to conform. Mealtimes are usually the only time in the day that families sit together and talk. Nobody Has a perfect recipe how to raise a child, but turning it into a time of conflict and unpleasantness destroys this precious opportunity, so it is important to handle these hiccups sensitively:
1. Often the best way to treat bad manners is to try to ignore them as much as possible and save criticism for later.
2. Be positive when you see your child trying to do better.
3. Research has shown that the more intensely mothers are involved with controlling every mouthful of food, the less appropriate the child's food choices ultimately become.
Try offering small quantities of a healthy selection of food and then step back, letting him decide how much of which food he will eat, if any. If he is hungry later, you can always offer him either his leftover food or some other healthy snack before bedtime. Never give him a snack just before a meal. Remember it’s what he eats over a whole week that counts, so one single meal with hardly any food doesn’t’ matter.
